


You Claimed What's Yours (Mixed Love With Sin)

by whispered_story



Series: Carve Your Name Into My Skin [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Barebacking, Dark themes mentioned, Established Relationship, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mob Boss Jensen, Protective Jensen, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 11:57:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12770592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: Pulling the trigger, killing Jared's father, was supposed to make everything easier. Instead, new complications arise for Jared and Jensen.





	You Claimed What's Yours (Mixed Love With Sin)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift) for beta'ing this ♥

Jared pulls the trigger.

The sound of the gun going off is deafening and the kick-back almost makes him stumble. He feels it everywhere, the muscles in his arms trembling, his stomach lurching.

And then all that's left is silence.

+

It replays in Jared's mind.

The image of his father tied to a chair in an empty warehouse. The way he managed to look down at Jared anyway, to smile at him with venom, with amusement. The way that he, even then, didn't take Jared seriously.

His father's words echo inside his head over and over again.

 _Didn't think you'd had it in you, son_ – but the words hadn't been spoken with pride, but with amusement. And Jared wanted to scream that he wasn't his son. Not anymore. Not when he took the one person Jared loved from him so cruelly, so mindlessly.

_You know he's going to kill you too. Might be my turn first, but you're next. Ackles isn't going to let you live._

_You were always too soft, Jared. Even now, pretending to be a big boy with that gun in your hand, you're still too soft._

And Jared can still see the look on his father's face when he looked at Jensen – at _Jensen._ So mockingly, so arrogantly.

The emotions rise in Jared all over again – the anger, the pain, the desperate need for this to just be over. To make his father shut up. To finally – _finally_ – avenge his mother's death.

Jared had always thought it would be Jensen. That he'd probably take it slow, drag it out, to really get the revenge he was thirsting for. To enjoy the moment – and god knows, he would have enjoyed it.

But it's Jared who fired the shot. Fast and sudden, not allowing himself a moment of hesitation.

+

"Give me the gun, baby," Jensen says. His voice is calm, always so calm, and it soothes something deep inside of Jared.

He wraps his fingers around Jared's wrist, guides his arm down gently, and then pries the gun from Jared's lax fingers. The gun he gave Jared before they entered the warehouse, _just in case_. The gun Jared had had no intention of using – until he did.

"I'm sorry," Jared says. He finally tears his eyes away from his father's slumped form, from the deep, red blood.

Jensen is smiling at him. "What are you sorry for, sweetheart?" he asks. He puts the safety back on, and then hands the gun back to Jared. "Keep it until we're back home. Okay?"

Jared takes it, the weight of it familiar in his palm. It's the first time in years that Jared's handled a gun, and the first time ever he's shot a person – Jensen doesn't know that, but maybe he guessed it anyway. He's good at that, at figuring Jared out.

"You probably wanted to do it yourself," Jared says. "You wanted to get revenge."

"I just did," Jensen murmurs. He steps closer, cups Jared's face in one hand and leans up for a kiss that's almost chaste. "You, me – it doesn't matter who did it. I got what I came here for."

Jared nods and lets himself lean into Jensen for a moment, soak in his warmth, his strength. Jensen slides his hand over the back of Jared's neck, squeezes.

"Jay, when we go out there, don't let them see you upset," he says. "Okay? Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah," Jared says and he draws back, gives Jensen a small smile. He doesn't feel upset, but he's not sure how to put what he's feeling into words. Jared's not a killer, he never wanted to be and he never thought he could be, but in that moment, he doesn't feel remorse. Doesn't feel shaken.

He just feels like a weight has been lifted off him.

+

Jared only recognizes about half of the people Jensen has stationed at the warehouse. He holds his head high as he walks out of the room behind Jensen, the heavy iron door falling shut with a thud behind him.

Danneel gives him a small smile and Jeff nods at him, but Jared isn't blind to the less than friendly looks he's getting from some of the others. Not quite glares, not when Jensen is there, but he knows not everyone is happy he's here. Not everyone trusts him. 

"Chris, Danneel," Jensen snaps. "You handle the clean-up. We're meeting first thing in the morning in my office."

"Sure thing, boss," Danneel says. 

"Jeff, you're with us," Jared says, and Jeff nods. "Everyone else, do what Danneel says."

He reaches back, his hand finding Jared's blindly, and tangles their fingers together. 

Jared's father would have never held his mother's hand. He showed her off sometimes, and Jared hated the way he'd grab her, treat her like a piece of meat instead of his wife when he had company. But most of the time he ignored her, didn't give her any attention or affection. Love was a weakness in the Padalecki household.

But Jensen holds his hand as he leads him outside, past his men, and he doesn't let go until they get into his car. He rests his hand on Jared's thigh as he drives them home, and Jared covers it with his, watching the headlights of Jeff's car in the rearview mirror.

+

"Let me help," Jensen says.

Jared stills, his t-shirt pulled halfway up his stomach, and drops his hands again. Jensen catches him by the hips and Jared goes willingly when he tugs him closer.

He smiles when Jensen resumes pulling the t-shirt up, warm hands sliding over his skin as he pushes the fabric up. Jared's jeans are next, and Jensen feels his cock starting to fill when Jensen's palm skims over his crotch, fingers undoing the button.

Jensen smirks at him and then looks down, watching his own hands as he keeps undressing Jared. Jared's underwear follows the jeans, and Jared steps out of both of them, breath hitching at the way Jensen palms his hips, leans in and kisses his neck.

"You, too," Jared says. 

Jensen presses one, two, three more kisses to Jared's skin, mouth moving down to where Jared's neck curves into his shoulder. He steps back and gives Jared's hip a small slap. "Get in the shower, sweetheart. I'm right behind you."

Jared nods. 

The shower is already turned on, steam rising, and he steps under the hot spray with a sigh. Turning so he's facing the glass partition, Jared lets the water rain down on his shoulders and watches Jensen get undressed through the fogged up glass. There's something about the sight, Jensen's blurry silhouette and the way he moves so gracefully as he strips out of his clothes, that makes Jared's stomach flutter with arousal. 

Jared wipes wet hair out of his face, slicking it back, and then lets his hand drop down to his cock. He gives himself a few, slow strokes, mouth parting around a quiet moan.

"Sweetheart," Jensen says, voice low. He joins Jared in the shower moments later, eyes dark, and Jared feels hot all over, his cheeks too warm.

"Hmmm?" he asks and lets go of himself.

"You touching what's mine?" Jensen asks. Jared steps closer, wraps his arms around Jensen's neck and nuzzles his cheek, mouth brushing against the corner of Jensen's mouth.

"You touch me then, if it's yours," he says quietly, and groans when Jensen tugs him close and crashes their lips together. The water makes the kiss slick, their lips sliding together, and Jared moans at the way their bodies press together.

They can finally have this now. They won't have to hide this anymore, won't have to worry about the wrong people finding out about them. 

"Jensen," he says, rocking against him. "I want..."

Jensen sighs, loud enough to be heard over the rush of water, and tips his head back. "Let's get you cleaned up first," he murmurs.

Jared frowns, and Jensen gives a small smile and slides a thumb over Jared's cheek. 

"You got some blood on yourself, baby," he says. "We should get rid of that."

"Oh," Jared says, and nods. Jensen pulls him down into another kiss and then grabs the shampoo.

He cleans Jared thoroughly, lathers him up and slides his hands all over. He does it slowly enough, gently enough, hands mapping out Jared's body until Jared feels drowsy. Having Jensen's hands on him usually excites him, and he's hard now too, but the way Jensen touches him is slowing him down rather than revving him up. Makes him want to curl up in bed with Jensen as much as it makes him want to get fucked slow and deep.

It's weird that he's feeling this way – so calm, so at peace. He killed someone today. He killed his father. And he's never felt freer in his life.

Jensen cleans himself up after he's finished with Jared, his movements quick and efficient, and Jared watches, palms his dick and sees Jensen's eyes go dark.

"Trying to push my buttons, sweetheart?" he asks, turning the water off.

"Maybe," Jared replies.

"Hmm." Jensen steps out of the shower and grabs two towels from the rack, tossing one at Jared. "Get dry and onto the bed then."

The slow burn, the arousal that's been creeping up on Jared, spikes then. He pats himself dry superficially and then lets Jensen drag him into the bedroom.

The sun is starting to rise outside, the sky a murky dark blue, as they fall into bed together, the sheets still messy from earlier. Jensen settles on top of Jared, between his splayed legs, and pins him down by the arms with a smirk.

"Tell me what you want?" he asks. "Wanna get fucked, Jay? Want me to slide into that sweet, tight ass of yours and remind you who you belong to?"

He grinds their hips together as he speaks, and Jared arches up into it. "Yeah," he says.

"Like this? Or maybe on your hands and knees, hard and fast?" Jensen asks and leans down, noses Jared's jaw. "Gonna give you whatever you want. I think you earned it."

Jared's breath catches in his throat, then comes out in a stuttered exhale. He wants so much with Jensen, wants _everything_ with him, but the one thought that pops into his head, that sticks, makes his stomach squirm with nerves.

"Bare," he says. He feels Jensen still. "Jensen?"

Jensen pushes himself up, looks down at Jared with a serious expression. "Sweetheart," he starts.

"You said anything."

"You're asking me to fuck you without a condom, Jared," Jensen says, and there's an edge to his voice. "You _know_ that's different."

"I'm clean," Jared replies and shifts under Jensen, shudders when it makes their cocks slide together. "Aren't you?"

"Of _course_ I am," Jensen says and Jared can tell he's starting to get angry, frustrated. "Fuck, you think I'd do _anything_ with you if I wasn't? Let you suck me off? You think I'd risk you like that?"

"Then why can't we do this?" Jared asks, keeping his tone calm, even as he feels worry starting to gnaw at his stomach. They've _talked_ about this and he knows Jensen wants it, but Jared _needs_ it right now and he wants Jensen to need it too.

Jensen pushes himself back, sitting on his haunches between Jared's legs, and looks down at him silently for a moment. "Because we're not doing this because you're upset and feeling out of control. I'll tie you up, I'll spank you until you're hurting, I'll let you fuck _me_ – whatever you want. But doing it bare isn't up for discussion."

"You think," Jared starts and struggles to sit up, suddenly feeling too vulnerable, too exposed. "You think I'm asking for this to, what, regain control?"

"I think maybe you're not thinking quite clearly right now, sweetheart," Jensen says, gentler. 

"That's _not_ why," Jared says, shaking his head. "I want you. I want all of you. And I don't want there to be another thing between us. Not ever again."

The words tumble out of him, and even though he knows Jensen loves him, is crazy about him, it feels like a huge admission. Jensen stays quiet for a moment, and Jared takes a shuddering breath.

"I want everything with you, Jensen," he says. "There's been so much standing between us. I don't want there to be anything left in the way between us now. I just... want to be yours."

"Fuck, sweetheart," Jensen replies, his voice low. "You've been mine since the moment I first laid eyes on you, don't you know that?"

"Prove it," Jared prompts.

Jensen's eyes narrow a little and he curves one hand around Jared's neck, skims his thumb over Jared's Adam's apple. "Are you sure, Jared?"

"Yes," Jared says and swallows, feels the pressure of Jensen's thumb increase a little with the motion.

"Good," Jensen says and leans in, kisses Jared. It's a hard kiss, messy, Jensen licking his way into Jared's mouth and not breaking the kiss even as he starts pushing Jared back down onto the mattress.

He grinds their hips together dirtily and Jared moans, thrusting up against Jensen.

"We do this," Jensen murmurs, sliding his mouth from Jared's to his jaw, "and there's no turning back. You're mine. And I really mean _mine_ , Jared. Nobody else but me will ever fuck you, will ever touch you – I'll kill anyone who even thinks about taking you from me. Are you really ready for that?"

Jared's eyes flutter closed and he nods. "Yeah. Please, I _want_ that," he replies, and Jensen bites at his jaw, before sucking at the same spot, then lower down Jared's neck. He places little sharp nips and kisses there, while he grazes a finger over Jared's left nipple, first the pad, then the nail, and Jared hisses. Excitement and nerves flutter in his stomach, but he tries not to squirm, lets Jensen have entire control over his body.

Lets Jensen pin him down, keep him in place, as he moves further down Jared's body, leaving behind a trail of stinging bites and soothing kisses, seeking out the spots that make Jared moan and gasp. 

Jared is painfully hard and damp with precome by the time Jensen finally grabs the lube from the bedside drawer. 

"Please," he mumbles. "God, Jensen, don't wanna wait."

"Patience," Jensen murmurs, but then he presses right in with two fingers, slick lube easing the way but not lessening the burn. Jared moans and lets his legs fall open wider. He rocks his hips down onto Jensen's fingers, before Jensen stills him with his free hand pressing down on his hip. 

Sometimes, Jensen will do this for what feels like hours, working Jared open so slowly, so teasingly, that Jared is left a needy, desperate mess. Today, he seems almost as impatient as Jared feels, pumping his fingers in and out, twisting them inside Jared just so, and then soon adds a third finger.

"Jensen," Jared pants. "Enough, please. I want to feel it. _Please_."

"Oh, you'll feel it, baby," Jensen says and pulls out, grabbing the lube again.

He hoists Jared's legs up over his shoulders, bends him in half as he starts pushing in moments later. The blunt tip of his dick feels big against Jared's hole, and it burns as he presses forward, past the resistance.

"Oh fuck," Jared hisses and whines low in his chest. It hurts more than it usually does, but it's the good kind of hurt, the kind that makes Jared feel every inch of Jensen's cock sliding into him, and he knows he'll be feeling it all day. Jensen feels even bigger than usual, thicker, _hotter_. 

Jensen stills when he's all the way inside, gives Jared a few minutes, before he pulls out and slides back in with a roll of his hips. "Fuck, you feel good," he chokes out, and Jared moans in reply.

It does feel good. Different. _Better_. It feels like, as Jensen starts rocking in and out of him, he's claiming Jared with each thrust, carving out a space for himself inside Jared that has been his all along.

Jared doesn't last long, the pleasure building up, rising, until he comes with a small cry of Jensen's name. Through the haze of the orgasm, he feels Jensen come too a few moments later, feels him spill hotly inside of him, and Jared is pretty sure nothing has ever felt better in his life. Has ever felt more real.

+

"We should clean up soon," Jensen murmurs against Jared's temple.

Jared makes an unhappy noise, tightening his arms around Jensen. 

"Sweetheart," Jensen says. "I've got a meeting to get to, and you have classes."

"Classes," Jared mumbles, and blinks at Jensen. They haven't gone to sleep, just dozed a little in a tangle of messy, sweaty limbs, sheets bunched up all around them. Jared still feels slick and loose, feels Jensen's come still inside him and smeared down the back of his thighs.

"You want me to go to class after..." he trails off, knows Jensen will know he means _everything_. What happened with his father and what happened between them – it's so big, so life-changing, and classes seem so unimportant in comparison to that. 

"We can't act any differently than we have been for a little while longer," Jensen says and smoothes a hand down Jared's back. "Like nothing has changed."

Jared knows Jensen is right, knows they can't draw any attention to themselves right now, but it doesn't make him feel any better about it. The thought of still having to pretend, to sneak around – even just for a little while longer – makes his heart ache.

"Just for a few days," Jensen adds. "Just until they find your father's body."

"I hate this," Jared admits, and Jensen kisses his temple.

"It'll be different soon, sweetheart. You'll be able to come and go as you want, spend as many nights here as you want."

Sighing, Jared slowly untangles himself from Jensen and sits up. 

"Hey," Jensen calls out quietly. "We talked about this, baby. We just gotta stick to the plan. It'll be over soon."

"Yeah," Jared agrees and gives Jensen a weak smile. "I should probably stay at my place tonight then."

"Probably," Jensen agrees, and Jared feels a little better about it when Jensen doesn't look any happier than he feels.

+

It hits Jared as he ducks out of the back entrance of Jensen's building that he's stepping out into a world his father is no longer a part of.

It's a comforting thought.

+

Jared used to love having his own apartment, crappy as it is. Because it's his, because it's a place his father has never set foot in, has never had any influence over.

Now, it feels empty since he met Jensen. Lonely. 

It's just for a few more days, but those days suddenly feel endless and Jared longs to be back with Jensen. In his arms, in his bed, having Jensen's warm weight pressed against him.

He crawls onto his bed – just a mattress on the floor in the corner of the studio apartment – and pulls the covers up over himself. He's exhausted, emotionally and physically. Classes seemed to drag on forever, and it felt weird to even be on campus, to be among people who are supposed to be his peers when just hours earlier, Jared shot his father. It should terrify him, disgust him, but all Jared can feel when he thinks about what he did is a sense of calm. Of peace.

His father is dead and Jared is, irrevocably, Jensen's now.

+

Jared doesn't see Jensen for three days.

They text, talk on the phone, but it's not the same and Jared misses Jensen like crazy. The thought that it's temporary, that everything will change soon, is the only thing getting him through the next few days.

And then, on the third day, Jared is woken up at the break of dawn by the police knocking on his door.

+

"We're sorry for your loss," Officer Palicki says, giving him a smile that Jared thinks is supposed to be empathetic. He wonders if they're glad that his father is dead, or just worried about what the consequences will be.

Jared wraps his arms around himself, even if he wants nothing more than to smile. "Thank you. We... well, we weren't really close, but still," he says, his voice quiet. A little unsteady. 

Jared thinks he should win a fucking Oscar for this.

Officer Palicki gives a nod. "We hate to ask, Mr. Padalecki, but we have to ask where you were on the night of the 8th, roughly between midnight and 6am."

"Wait, am I a suspect?" Jared asks, widening his eyes. "I haven't even seen my father in a few years."

"It's just a formality. We have to ask – I'm sure you understand."

Jared rolls his lower lip between his teeth, biting down on it. "The 8th you said? Monday night?" he asks. "I spent the night at my boyfriend's."

"Okay. We'll need a name and an address."

Jared clears his throat. "Right," he says. "Jensen Ackles."

He watches the two officers closely, the way their eyes widen just a little before they catch themselves. 

"I can write down his address for you," he offers, and on the inside, Jared is smiling.

+

_Cops were just here_ , he texts Jensen when the two officers have left.

+

"This is where you live?"

Jensen steps into the apartment past Jared, and Jared watches him take in his place. It's small enough that it doesn't take long – there isn't much to see. Jensen has never been here and Jared isn't sure he's ever really said anything about his place for Jensen to make up a mental picture of it. He wonders what it must look like to him – when Jensen has a big, beautiful place, in a building he owns. 

"Looks like it," Jared mutters.

Jensen gives a nod, slightly tense, and reaches for Jared, drawing him close by the hips. He nuzzles Jared's jaw, kisses it. "It's not a very good neighborhood, sweetheart."

Jared snorts. "I can take care of myself."

"Yes, you can," Jensen agrees, drawing back just enough to meet Jared's eyes. "But I like being the one to take care of you instead."

"You can," Jared says.

Jensen smiles and pulls Jared in, brushing their lips together. "Three days," he murmurs against Jared's mouth. "I fucking missed you."

"Yeah," Jared agrees. 

Jensen hums and slides his hands up, slipping them under Jared's t-shirt. 

"Can you stay for a little while?" Jared asks.

"I didn't come over here just to share a kiss and leave again, sweetheart," Jensen replies. "How are you doing?"

Jared shrugs. "I'm okay. I'm glad you're here now."

Jensen trails his hand higher, smoothing over Jared's back. "Tell me what you need," he prompts. "You wanna talk about what's going on? The cops ask you anything weird?"

Jared shrugs. "Not really, I don't think so," he says. "I don't really wanna talk about any of that."

"Okay," Jensen says, lips twitching up. "Wanna do something else then?"

"Hmm, what do you have in mind?"

Jensen smirks and glances over Jared's shoulder. "Wanna try out that _bed_ of yours?" he asks, and Jared laughs softly.

"Fine, I get it, it's not a real bed," he says. "But it's good enough for fucking."

"We'll see about that," Jensen murmurs.

+

Jensen's fingers trail down the side of Jared's throat, thumb skimming over his Adam's apple. Jared moans and spreads his legs wider, hips twitching up against Jensen.

Jensen grinds down against him, kisses him, mouth hard and demanding. His thumb presses down just so and Jared gasps.

"Ever had any other men on here?" Jensen asks, voice rough.

Jared blinks up at him. "Y-yeah."

"We're gonna burn this mattress," Jensen murmurs, his voice dark. Scary, if it wasn't Jensen, if Jared didn't know there isn't a person on this planet he could be safer with.

"Like you haven't had a whole slew of guys in your bed," he replies.

"Hmm, guess we're gonna burn my bed too, then," Jensen says, and Jared laughs, feels Jensen's thumb against his throat more acutely as he does so.

"Fine. Just fuck me first, Jen," he says, and Jensen grins.

"So demanding," he teases. He sits back, and Jared makes a protesting noise at the loss of Jensen's weight on top of him. Jensen grabs him by the knees, pushing his legs up, and then shifts down until his head is between Jared's legs.

+

Jensen's tongue feels incredible. Each lick, each little suckle, each wet, hot thrust into him draws little noises from Jared, makes him fall apart just a little more, until he's writhing and begging.

Jensen's fingers are almost too much, sliding in next to his tongue, working Jared open with just Jensen's spit as lube. Jared comes like that, with Jensen's fingers dragging against his prostate and his tongue teasing at his rim.

He comes a second time when Jensen fucks him. On his stomach, with Jensen pinning him down, grinding down into him, keeping Jared so full, stretched around the wide girth of his cock.

"Mine," Jensen pants against his neck and bites down at the delicate skin there, hard enough to hurt, and Jared explodes with a wet, broken cry.

+

Jensen's hand skims down Jared's stomach, the touch light.

Jared hums and stretches, the movement making him even more aware of the sticky wetness between his cheeks, and he feels himself flushing just thinking about it.

"What?" Jensen asks, kissing Jared's cheek. 

"Nothing."

"Nu-uh, tell me, sweetheart," Jensen says.

Jared sighs, shifts his hips once more just to feel it, both Jensen's come and the slight sting of soreness. He bites down onto his bottom lip and looks at Jensen through his lashes. "It's messy," he says. "Doing it without a condom."

Jensen laughs, the sound low and throaty. He lets his hand trail lower, over Jared's hip and to his thigh, and then the space between his legs. Jared's eyes flutter as he lets his legs fall open and he lets out a choked sound as Jensen slides his fingers down past his balls, between his cheeks.

"I think that's my favorite part," Jensen murmurs, and slowly presses one finger inside of Jared. "Knowing I got you all dirty, that you're all sticky and messy with my come."

He twists his finger, like he's feeling around, spreading his come around even though it's already everywhere.

"Jensen," Jared pants.

Jensen snorts out a quiet laugh and kisses the curve of Jared's shoulder. "Yes, sweetheart?"

Jared angles his head, and Jensen meets his mouth in a kiss that's a little sloppy, a little breathless. He thrusts his finger in and out of Jared, once, twice, three times.

And then his phone buzzes, the familiar chirp echoing through Jared's apartment.

"Dammit," Jensen hisses and pulls out.

He props himself up and reaches for the pile of clothes lying next to the mattress, and Jared lets his head roll back onto the pillow while Jensen reads whatever message he got.

"Fuck," Jensen mutters.

"What's wrong?" Jared asks. Jensen sighs and lets his phone drop again.

"The cops are at my office to talk to me," he says. "I need to go be a good, law-abiding citizen."

Jared sighs. "Okay," he says. "So, uh, will I see you later?"

Jensen pushes himself up onto his hands so he's hovering over Jared, smiling, and dips down to kiss him quickly, and Jared can't help but lean up into it, trying to prolong those last few seconds together before Jensen will get up and leave.

"I need to take care of a few things, but I'll be home early," Jensen says. "I'll send Danneel over to help you pack."

"Pack?" Jared echoes.

Jensen draws his eyebrows together and grins, almost mockingly. "Sweetheart, you don't think you're going to stay in this shithole any longer now that we don't need to hide anymore, do you?"

"Oh. So, uh, you want me to move in?" Jared asks, his heart suddenly pounding.

Jensen kisses him again. "I told you you're mine, Jared Padalecki. Your ass isn't going to sleep anywhere but in my bed from now on," he murmurs and then pushes himself back. He slides out of the bed and starts gathering his clothes.

Jared sits up, the sheet pooled around his lap, and watches. "That wasn't a romantic way to ask me to move in."

"Well, I'm not asking," Jensen replies. He slides his underwear on, then his slacks, slightly wrinkled from lying on the floor. He looks debauched, hair messy and cheeks still a little flushed, and Jared smiles to himself. 

If he has any say about it, this is what Jensen will look like every morning when he leaves his apartment from now on. _Their_ apartment.

+

"This is such a dump," Danneel says, not for the first time. "I can't believe Jensen let you live in this place."

"Jensen doesn't _let_ me do anything," Jared replies, and puts the last of his books in a box.

Danneel sighs. "Yeah, sure. He's the bossiest fucker in the world."

Jared hums, can't actually argue with that, and looks around the apartment. He didn't have a lot to begin with, and most of his things are packed away already, a neat line of boxes pushed up against one wall of the room.

"Okay, so where do you hide your toys?" Danneel asks and claps her hands together. "I wanna pack those and find out what kind of kinky stuff you're into. Jensen never talks about that kinda stuff."

Jared laughs, cheeks getting a little hot. "Already packed those," he says, and Danneel gives him a hurt look.

"What? When?"

"I'm not telling you," Jared says, and grins at Danneel. He sees her expression slip, eyes widening, and before he can say anything Danneel sprints at him, her weight crashing into him as she tackles him to the ground.

"Dan--" he manages, and the rest is drowned out by the sound of glass shattering and a loud bang, plaster from the wall behind Jared spraying around them.

"Stay down," Danneel hisses, but Jared is frozen anyway, unable to move.

It feels like forever, but Jared knows it's only a few seconds before the silence falls. Danneel doesn't move for a few more moments, and then she pushes herself up and looks down at him with a hard expression on her face.

"Are you okay, Jay?" she asks. 

Jared gives a stuttered nod. "Fine."

Danneel touches his cheek. "You're bleeding," she says. Jared only feels it then, the way his temple stings and the wet trickle of blood. "Must have been the glass."

Jared nods again.

"Come on, Jay. We need to get away from the window," Danneel says. Her voice is soft, but serious. "Can you follow me? Stay down though, okay?"

"Yeah," Jared says. 

On her hands and knees, Danneel shuffles off him and crawls away, and Jared rolls over and follows her. He tries to avoid the glass littered on the ground, but he feels a few shards digging into his knees, slicing skin, and winces. He doesn't stop though, not until Danneel and he are no longer under the window. He sits up then and slumps against the wall behind him.

"Holy shit," he mutters, and Danneel catches his hand in hers, sliding their fingers together.

"It's okay, baby," she murmurs, and somehow the words sound so much like something Jensen would say that Jared feels the panic inside of him quieten down a little.

+

Police are swarming the street. Jared feels oddly detached as he watches them, talking into walkie-talkies, a helicopter circling overhead. Jared is sitting in the back of an ambulance, his cuts cleaned out and bandaged.

Danneel is standing next to him, tall and straight, her hand curled around one of his wrists. She keeps scanning the area, but Jared knows he's got nothing to worry about anymore. Whoever shot at them is long gone. The buildings across from his have been searched, the street closed off – officially by the police, but Danneel had called in for back-up long before the police got there. And Jared knows Jensen has several men on the force working for him, recognized an officer or two.

It's only when he sees Jensen, hears his voice bark out orders to Chris, who is trailing behind him, that Jared feels himself come out of his stupor.

"Jared," Jensen says, reaching him with long strides. He cups Jared's face, tilts it up, and Jared forces himself to smile.

"I'm okay."

"The fuck you are," Jensen says, and he doesn't sound as calm as he usually does. He leans in, brushes his lips over Jared's forehead. "Fuck, sweetheart. _Fuck_."

Jared sucks in a breath and winds his arms around Jensen, leaning into him. "I wanna go home, Jen," he admits quietly.

"I've got a car parked nearby," Jensen says and pulls back, hands not leaving Jared's face. "Can you walk, baby?"

Jared shrugs. "I'm not sure the police are done talking to me yet."

"Yeah, well, fuck the police," Jensen says. "We're getting you home now, sweetheart."

Jared gives a grateful little nod and gets up on slightly shaky knees. Jensen and Danneel are at his side instantly, framing him, and as Jensen wraps one arm around his waist, Danneel slides her hand into his.

+

Jared wakes up when Jensen slips out of bed, and he makes a small, unhappy noise.

"Go back to sleep," Jensen murmurs, leaning over him and gently running his fingers through Jared's hair. "It's early, sweetheart."

"You're leaving?" Jared mumbles.

"I have to," Jensen says quietly. "You stay here, okay? Get some more sleep, relax. I don't want you to leave this place right now."

Jared blinks his eyes open again and yawns. "Jensen. I have classes."

"I think keeping you safe is a little more important than that," Jensen points out, and there's an edge to his voice.

No longer feeling sleepy, Jared sits up, careful not to aggravate his bandaged knees. His displeasure must be showing on his face, because Jensen sits back down on the edge of the bed and cups his face with both hands.

"We'll find who did this, as fast as we can, baby. Okay? But until then, I need you safe."

"So I'll be locked inside?" Jared asks.

"I'm not putting a lock on the door. I'm asking you. Begging you if I have to," Jensen says, eyes not leaving Jared's. "I'll be here with you as much as I can. And there's a gym and a pool downstairs and if you need something to be entertained, I'll buy whatever you ask me for. Just please stay here, Jay, please."

His voice sounds raw, in a way Jared has never heard before. Jensen is scared for him. Jensen, who is never scared, is never not calm, and it makes something inside Jared break a little.

"Okay," he says. 

"Thank you, sweetheart," Jensen sighs, giving a relieved smile and he leans in to kiss Jared, brief and sweet. "Thank you."

+

Jared has been waiting for this, dreaming about this, but he never imagined spending the first morning after moving into Jensen's apartment alone in bed. He dozes a little bit longer, but it feels wrong that Jensen's side of the bed is empty.

He tries not to be disappointed, but he can't help it. 

Sighing, Jared stretches, knowing he won't be getting any more sleep.

They hadn't even had sex last night, despite the fact that Jared insisted that they could, that he wanted to. But Jensen had spent some time on the phone and when he'd joined Jared in bed, Jared had been on the verge of drifting off, and Jensen had simply spooned up behind him. Had held him, kissed his neck and shoulder and murmured that he loved him.

And Jared knows he does. Doesn't feel even a bit of doubt about that.

It makes being alone a bit easier.

Carefully, Jared slips out of bed and pulls on some clothes, before he strolls out of the bedroom to make some coffee.

"I just made a fresh pot. There are some bagels too, if you want some."

Jared stops and then sighs. "Hey Jeff," he greets, looking at the man sitting on the couch. "What are you doing here?"

Jeff gives him a small shrug. "Jensen had to leave, so I'm keeping you company," he says and gets up. He crosses the room, stops just a couple of feet away from Jared. "How are you, kid?"

"I'm okay," Jared says. 

Jeff nods. "You know, whoever did this – I'll kill them with my bare hands if Jensen doesn't get to them first," he says, voice low. 

Jared cracks a small smile. "He probably will."

"Yeah, well, good, 'cause I'm guessing they'd be better off having to deal with me," Jeff says. "Go sit down, Jay. I'll fix you some breakfast."

Jared nods. 

"So, you're my babysitter now?" he calls over his shoulder as he goes to sit on the couch. 

Jensen has an open kitchen, so Jared can watch Jeff putting his breakfast together, lips tugging up into a smile.

"Boy, I'm nobody's babysitter," he says. "Jensen needed someone he trusts. And he doesn't trust a lot of people with you. And I happen to not trust a lot of people with you either, so it worked out."

Jared hums. "So, what are Jensen's orders for you _not_ babysitting me?" he asks.

Jeff rolls his eyes and gives him a knowing grin. "We stay inside the building and you're not going anywhere without me."

Jared runs a hand over his face, but finally he nods. "Fine. Okay," he agrees.

+

Jared loves Jensen's place. If anyone had asked him just a few days ago, Jared would have said he'd be happy not to leave the apartment for days.

Of course, he would have imagined being with Jensen and not Jeff. And that he was staying inside by choice, not because there's someone out there who wants him dead.

He gets antsy after just a few hours. They watch some TV and then Jared tries to get caught up on assignments, but focusing on college is hard to do with everything that's been going on, and before long he closes his books with a sigh.

Jeff sends him an amused smile.

"Bored?" he asks. 

Jared shrugs. "Aren't you? Stuck inside with me."

Jeff sighs. "You gotta stop thinking I don't care about you, kid," he says. "I know I did the wrong thing once, not being there for you. Not protecting you. I'm not apologizing, because I was doing the right thing for myself at the time."

Jared gives a wry huff. 

"Jared, will you fucking listen to me?" Jeff says, voice a little firmer. "I'm _not_ apologizing, but I'm trying to tell you that, if I had to do it all over again, I'd do things differently now. So, this is me doing things differently."

"I don't want your pity, Jeff. You don't need to atone yourself," Jared says. 

"Maybe I do," Jeff replies. "I should have kept your mom alive, kid."

"How? It's not like you knew he was going to kill her," Jared points out, and then adds, more quietly, "You didn't, right?"

"Jesus, Jay. Of course not," Jeff says. "But I knew what your father was capable of. I knew things with your mother were rocky. I should have done _something_."

Jared nods. "JD?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm the one who shot him," Jared says and pulls his knees up onto the couch. "I'm not sure Jensen told you."

"What?" Jeff asks, and he looks at Jared with eyes that are more curious than anything. He didn't expect it, and Jared feels a flare of pride at that.

"My father. Jensen didn't shoot him. I did," Jared presses. "And maybe Jensen told you guys. I don't know."

"No," Jeff says, shaking his head. "Goddammit, kid. You just keep surprising me."

Jared gives him a small smile. "Didn't think I had it in me, huh?" he asks. "Neither did he."

"I think maybe you're capable of a lot more than I ever expected," Jeff admits. "You seem to be handling Ackles just fine after all, and that's something."

Jared snorts out a laugh and nods. "It's easier than you think."

"Geez, Jared," Jeff groans, but he's grinning. "I don't wanna hear about any of _that_."

+

Jensen comes home late in the afternoon.

With nothing much to do around the apartment, Jared eventually convinced Jeff to play video games with him and they've been at it for the past couple hours.

Jensen raises his eyebrows when he comes home, strolling over to the couch. "Glad you two kids are having fun," he says sarcastically, and Jared just shoots him a grin.

"You told me to keep an eye on him and do what he says," Jeff says casually. "He wanted to play."

"Right," Jensen says and leans over the couch, kissing Jared.

"You found anything out yet?" Jared asks quietly, putting his controller down.

"Maybe," Jensen says, and Jared sees the way he tenses up a little. It's not a good sign and it makes Jared's stomach clench.

"Jeff, mind leaving us alone? I need you back here tomorrow morning."

"Sure, boss," Jeff says. He gets up, rubbing his hands on his jeans once. "Kid, see you tomorrow."

Jared nods. "Bye. Thanks for, you know, keeping me entertained."

"So?" he asks when Jeff is gone a few moments later, getting up and rounding the couch. Jensen slides his arms around him, kisses his jaw, his cheek.

"We don't really know anything yet. Nothing definite," Jensen says. "We have a few leads, though, and I'm having them looked into."

"Okay."

Jensen smiles at him, not like his usual smiles. Not cocky, not aloof. "You know, I haven't played video games since I was a kid," he says. It's clear he wants to change the subject, and Jared feels too tired suddenly to fight him on it, so he just smiles.

"No?"

"Nah."

"Winner gets to decide what we do tonight," Jared suggests, grinning. 

"Oh, you're on," Jensen says.

+

"You cheated," Jared complains.

Jensen noses his neck, dragging his fingers down Jared's collarbone and skimming over his nipple. When he gives it a sudden, sharp twist, Jared gasps and arches up under him.

"How'd I cheat, sweetheart?"

"You said you hadn't played in years," Jared manages, a little breathless now.

Jensen laughs against his skin and then pulls back. "But I didn't say I was bad at it," he points out and smiles lazily. "And now I get to decide what to do with you. Hmmm, there are so many things."

Jared's already painfully hard, and he feels his nerves flutter at the words.

Jensen sits back, kneeling between Jared's splayed legs, and looks down at his naked body. "You're so pretty, baby. Prettiest thing in the fucking world," he murmurs. He palms himself, stroking himself slowly, and Jared watches his cock slide in and out of his hand, thick and sticky-wet at the tip.

"Jen," Jared moans, and Jensen's smile gets a little wider.

"Get yourself ready for me, baby," he murmurs.

Jared's breath hitches and he nods, scrambling to get the lube from the nightstand.

There's something about doing this with Jensen watching him that feels exciting, that tantalizing mix of arousing and embarrassing that has Jared blushing and moaning at the same time as he starts fingering himself open, his legs splayed wide for Jensen to see. 

"Yeah, like that," Jensen murmurs, continuing to jerk himself off slowly. 

And, "God, baby, look at you, fucking yourself on your fingers for me."

Jared is using too much lube and despite the fact that he's done this countless times, his fingers feel clumsy, his movements jerky. Jensen doesn't seem to care. He keeps watching with dark eyes, mouth parted around soft moans. 

And when Jared is ready, he's barely slid his fingers out of himself before Jensen is crowding in close, pushing his legs up. He sinks right into Jared, burying himself deep. As he starts moving, he leans over Jared and catches his mouth in a deep kiss.

He works them both to completion like that, kissing and biting at Jared's lips, making the headboard thud against the wall with the thrust of his hips.

+

"This is crazy," Jared says, stepping off the treadmill.

Jeff's leaning against the wall, watching Jared run on the treadmill, flipping a knife around between his fingers. "Mmm. What is?"

"We're inside the building. You're guarding me. Yet there are three men standing outside the door as well."

"Jensen upped your security," Jeff says with a shrug.

"He thinks something is going to happen to me here?"

Jeff sighs. "Kid, what do you want, huh?" he asks. "You wanna be part of this life or do you want to stay separate from it?"

Jared frowns. "What are you talking about?"

"You never wanted this life. You've been doing everything you can to be the exact opposite for as long as I can remember," Jeff says. "And Jensen is trying to respect that, to keep you out of this as much as you can. Yet it feels like you're trying to push your way in. And I'm not telling you not to – quite the opposite. I think it'll make things easier for the both of you. But you gotta decide – either you're in, and I mean _really_ in, or you're not."

"I don't..." Jared starts. "He's my partner. I can't stay out of it. And this is about _me_."

"So, you want in."

"No," Jared says. "No. I... I don't know."

Jeff sighs. "Figure it out."

"I don't want to be like him," Jared admits. "Like my father."

Jeff sighs and puts his knife away, sliding it into the sheath attached to his belt. "We need a drink for this, kiddo," he says, and Jared nods.

+

"You're not like him," Jeff says, when they've both downed a couple fingers of whiskey and Jeff has poured them a second round.

"How do you know?" Jared asks and sits down on the couch, looking down at the tumbler in his hands. "I didn't even hesitate when I shot him. I don't regret it, not even a little."

Jeff groans and sits down next to him. "When your father married your mom, Jared, he did it because he wanted to strike a deal with your grandfather," he says. "And he wanted an heir."

"I know," Jared says. "And he got me. Biggest disappointment of his life."

"You weren't the kind of son he was hoping for," Jeff admits with a wry grin. "Which is why, eventually, he wanted more kids."

"Oh. But why... I mean, they didn't."

"No, it didn't happen for them, Jay. And boy, was your father angry," Jeff says and huffs. 

"My mom couldn't get pregnant," Jared guesses and the thought makes his stomach drop. If his father killed his mother because of that, if that was what pushed him over the edge eventually, then it would mean it was his fault. Because he wasn't what his father wanted and he was all his mother could give him. And if Jared had been different...

Jared knocks back his drink.

"You know, that's exactly what he told me," Jeff says quietly. "That your mom couldn't have any more kids. Funny, how none of the women he was sleeping around with could get pregnant either."

The words make something inside Jared freeze, make him stop, and he looks at Jeff, at the serious, somber expression on his face.

"Jeff?"

Jeff gives him a tight smile. "Stop worrying about being like your father, Jared," he says. "I don't think you could _possibly_ be like him. Okay?"

+

Jensen comes home in the middle of the day two days later, his shirt stained with blood. Jeff takes one look at him before he leaves wordlessly, clapping Jared on the shoulder as he goes.

"Jensen?" Jared asks quietly when the door shuts behind Jeff. Jensen is already at the bar, pouring himself a drink.

"You can go back to class now," Jensen says, voice tight. "We took care of things."

"Jensen," Jared tries again, voice softer.

Jensen turns and throws the glass against the wall opposite him. It shatters loudly, whiskey splattering against the white paint. 

"It was one of your men. Someone you trusted," Jared says, and he doesn't need to ask. He crosses the distance between them.

Jensen laughs. "Yeah."

Jared wraps himself around Jensen and Jensen returns the embrace, holding Jared tightly against him.

"Right now, I'm not really sure who to trust, sweetheart," he murmurs.

"You can trust me," Jared says quietly. He feels Jensen nod against his shoulder, feels lips brush against the neck of his shirt.

"I do."

+

"It'd be so much easier if I wasn't a Padalecki," Jared murmurs later, curled up against Jensen in their bed.

Jensen sighs and slides his hand down Jared's side, settling on the curve of his hip. "Yeah, well you are."

"Jeff thinks my father...," Jared starts and swallows. "Well, he thinks he wasn't my father."

Jensen remains quiet, but Jared feels the way he tenses just so.

"You knew?" he asks.

"JD might have mentioned it recently," Jensen admits.

"You think he's right?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I'm not sure it changes anything," Jensen says, and rolls onto his side. Tugging at him, he pulls Jared even closer.

"It does for me," Jared says. "I never wanted to be a Padalecki, but I was. And if I'm not, then who the fuck am I, Jensen?"

"Mine, sweetheart," Jensen murmurs and brushes their mouths together. "You're mine."


End file.
